I grew up in North Carolina, but I've been trapped in Seattle for ten years on a mission to the nomadic and backwards hippie people. Their ways are strange, they reject Christ, and they dress poorly.

Living among the global liberal elite creates mich confusion. Is it stylish to concealed carry? What kind of hat do I wear with my sportcoat when I go to shoot my .308 at the range? If my boots are brogued, can I wear them with a tuxedo?